Parentsss

I sit here before you in my newly emptied room (I moved out today and yet still remain; more on that later). On my walk home I contemplated the events that occurred earlier today and brought into perspective other ideas:

No one thinks their parents understand them. Obviously the generational divide separates ideals, etc. On my drive with my sister to the Wonderland station after dropping all of my belongings at my home, we talked about the future. She is going to college, I am starting the rest of my life. I brought up the idea of how I want my mom and dad to buy me a DSLR (or go halfway with me on one) as my graduation (early graduation) present. I need some form of camera that will allow me to start pursuing photography and be able to shoot whatever I want whenever I want. It is, as I believe, a necessity for what I want to do.

But my sister relayed to me that after I had brought it up to my parents, my mother had said she wasn't going to do this for me, which was news to my ears. Most times my parents are supportive. I don't think such a present is absurd for me to ask for, especially for what I want to do.

But that's just it: My parents (mainly my mom) doesn't understand what I want to do.

Every time I see her, she always starts by asking, "So, what are your plans after college?" Are you fucking kidding me? I've had these dreams for years. I've wanted to make movies since I was 14, if not younger. And you are going to look me in the face after paying for my college career and ask me what I want to do for the rest of my life?

Funny story: One night at dinner when I was apply to college my mother said to me, "You should think of a minor. Something like engineering. Just as a fallback plan." That was the moment I realized my mother didn't think I would succeed in film. She never understood why I consumed so much media and spent any money I could on video games and movies. She never understood why I loved media and narratives and images so much. And it hurts.

It hurts to realize she doesn't understand and clearly won't until I succeed. But I want to cut some ties with her. My parents have started to push me out of the nest, which I am totally fine with. But now I want to get the fuck out of here.

Between breaking up with my girlfriend, living in this shitty apartment living situation, and my parents lack of respect for what I do, I'm fed up with the east coast.

Get me a piece of that LA coast and get me the fuck outta here. I'll probably miss it one day, but I need the rest of my life to start already.