Oh, FUHHHHH

Over the last couple weeks, a lot of people have been asking me when I fly back to Los Angeles. "My flight leaves at 7am on New Year's Day!" I tell them with a laugh. Pretty early turnaround from New Year's Eve, but hey, fuck it, cheap flight.

Here's my plan: party it up with joe, drunkenly make my way back to my dads, finish the last bit of packing, then sleep for a quick minute before my dad drives me to the airport at 5am. A good plan.

As my dad is driving me to the T, a thought passes through my head, a memory of a legend that should not he been forgotten (or however they say it in lord of the rings). The thought is of an email I got over a month ago about a schedule change regarding my flight...

Fuck. Am I remembering the old time or the new time? I quickly bring up the email on my iPhone, but Apple Mail refuses to load the part of the message with the actual information.

We get to the T, and I navigate through gmail while sitting down on my train. Just as the train begins it's long, unbroken journey from North Quincy to JFK, I see it: my flight leaves at 5:30 am. 7am is the time it arrives in Washington, D.C.

FUHHHHHHHH

It's already 10:30. The train goes on and on and on towards JFK. The longest unbroken stretch of t gives me time to hatch my plan.

It's 10;55. I'm back at my dads t stop, and he's giving me all my luggage.

It's 11:00. I get on the t, gotta make it to joes by midnight.

Pre-New Years Sentimentality

New Years is almost here and I’ve been getting a bit nostalgic. As is tradition I’ve spent a lot of time these last two days thinking about this year: experiences I’ve had, things I’ve learned, what it means in the long run, how far I’ve come, where I go, go far from, learn go to go and experiences I’ve go learned. And one of the things I’ve become very grateful for this year is our blog. This is a place, in my very unstable life that I can come back to no matter where I am or what’s going on. I can write and reach out to you all and know that someone is reading. It’s a necessary lifeline and connection to a family I’ve been so thankful to have ever since it formed.

As such, I wanted to acknowledge how great this year in blogging has been! It started off with a bang: Adrian and Josh disastrously began their road trip; Scott left LA for New Mexico; I explored the world in Europe and Africa and back to Boston with Joe. As the year went on we felt the presence of a much more personal introspective Josh, the deep exploration of the mind with Adrian, my flailing exploration of the heart, Argentina’s brave exploration of online dating.  We also saw the advent of often my favorite part of the blog the multi-post entries like “I Also Took a Trip”, “Calwell”,  “My Weekend with Jesse” and “Runaway Dog”. And lets not forget that this has been the highest blogged year we’ve had!

So obviously I’ve been re-reading a lot of posts and I wanted to find a way to celebrate some of my favorites. To do so I thought it would be fun to take some of the gems and make up superlatives for them. So here are my 2013 picks:

Longest Blog Entry and Longest Blog Entry Title

How NoHate2013 became NoRegrets2013 for this blogger

http://theawesomeroom.blogspot.com/2013/03/how-nohate2013-became-noregrets2013-for.html

Most Random Comment

AdrianJune 14, 2013 at 8:44 AM

also i just realized i had this dream where i was in a city that had this highway that was essentially just a giant slide. and i think ive dreamed of this place multiple times.

Best Poem

“If” –a poem

http://theawesomeroom.blogspot.com/2013/08/poem.html

Best Sarcastic Blog Entry

Argentina’s Dating Tips

http://theawesomeroom.blogspot.com/2013/07/argentinas-dating-tips.html

Most Use of the Word Masturbate

The Last 31 Days

http://theawesomeroom.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-last-31-days.html

Angriest Blog Entry

FUCKING CARS!!!!

http://theawesomeroom.blogspot.com/2013/07/fuck-cars.html          

Shortest Blog Entry

FUCKING CARS!!!!

http://theawesomeroom.blogspot.com/2013/07/fuck-cars.html          

Best Blog Assist

Something Joe Wrote

http://theawesomeroom.blogspot.com/2013/06/something-joe-wrote.html

Most Inspirational Blog Entry

Riding a High

http://theawesomeroom.blogspot.com/2013/12/riding-high.html

So there are a handful of my favorites that y’all wrote this year. I’d love to know what some of your favorites were and why!

In conclusion, it’s been a great year hearing your stories, reading your thoughts, absorbing and discussing new ideas and generally lovin' on each other. I hope we continue this wonderful tradition for many years to come.

Love,

Jesse

Getting Tired: 2True

Picture related.

It's not exactly that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, but it's what I wanna yell every time someone asks me what my plans are now that I'm a graduate.

I don't feel like a graduate because everyone treats me like a child. I probably doesn't help that every time I go to a bar I joke that I'm 12. It also doesn't help that I still find pooping and masturbating to be some of the funniest shit around and constantly post about it on Facebook and Twitter.

I almost think I need to rebrand myself as a human being, but wouldn't I be losing my charm and wit? I love being absurd and I love baffling people and embarrassing myself in public for my friends amusement.

But every time people ask my plans are I give them the worst possible answer. "I'm homeless living out of the back of my Prius and unemployed." I do it to baffle. I hate the questions about my life. I can't wait to go to the West Coast where people understand what it means to be trying to break into the film industry. I can't wait to go on hiatus from the East Coast world and live on my own.

But that beacons the question brought up earlier in this post: Do I need to rebrand myself? Do I need to delete my Twitter and start over from scratch? Would that help even though I'd probably make the same amount of jokes about porn (less about pooping)? How can I limit my time on Facebook without it being detrimental to my social life and/or work life? Should I delete my account again? Should I delete it permanently to ensure that I don't use it again? Should I delete it and make a new one and keep it only to the closest of close friends? Should I just go through my friends list again and delete everyone I even slightly don't care about as much as you guys and a select few others?

As 2013 draws to a close and 2014 looks to be more and more of a year for the ages, I question my existence both on and off of the internet. It may be a year of rebranding, which could help my social anxieties, awkwardness, and all-together lifestyle (#alliteration). It could be a year of just going with what I have. It could be a year of my laziness and fear coming to bite me in the ass. I have a lot to think about over the next 4 days and even the next 365+.

What am I doing with my life?

I have no idea. And it feels great and terrible all at the same time.

Ask the Blog #098

Don't want this to get taken the wrong way, like this is in any kind of realm of possibility, just had an innocent thought pass through the brain today and I'm curious what the blog-consensus is.

So in this week's installment of Ask the Blog, I ask thee:

If your divorced parent is dating someone, are said person's children off limits?

Riding a High

I write this with a belly packed with chicken, beans, rice, and a half bottle of wine and a lung filled with a couple of tokes of christmas trees:

It's Christmas Eve, only a couple of hours before Christmas day, and I just finished watching Fruitvale Station by myself. Was it the best choice of movie for tonight? Probably not but this Christmas Eve just feels like another day off anyways. This is not to say that I'm sad (even though I really would have loved to be with friends and family), this is only to update you on the feeling of the room I am in.

I feel quite the opposite actually. The last few weeks to a month have been great for me and my confidence. I have been able to make the most out of my shitty work situation of not having weekends off and tried to enjoy work and my alone time as much as I can.

(Quick note to self: Writing this high has become very difficult.)

And back to the story. So yeah, I have online dated, I've real life, on the spot, dated, and I have dated this one girl long enough that you could say that I'm dating her.

Quick side note: The second date was cool, we went to a bar played pool and shit, but I figured out that I have no physical attraction to her at all. I became disinterested half way through the date. She texted me today and said that she would have invited me to her family's christmas party if she knew I was going to be alone... I have stopped texting.

(Sorry I have to back track a little bit cause I am high.)

But most of this confidence came from finding friends at work and how one of them said: "You realize after a while, that everyone around you is weird." I know Adrian you have expressed these thoughts many times, but there is a difference between me hearing it and feeling it. This line is very important because it helps me feel comfortable in previously uncomfortable situations. Fuck everyone else, if they don't "get" you or want to "fuck" you, then "Fuck" her.

(ok this has become way too hard to write high. Last sentence above even surprised me, just sucker punched me square in the face.)

All I'm trying to say here is that I'm confident and I want to shout it from the rooftops of my building. I masturbate, I jerk off, I beat my dick into submission, I have weird fucking dreams, I love you all from the bottom of my fucking heart, my hands sweat a lot, my dick might have two distinct shades of light brown, I am lanky as shit, I think that I'm going to enjoy giving and getting oral sex, I will probably try to put my dick in a girl's ass if she is down and maybe just put my thumb in if she is a prude, I get sad, I get happy, I don't understand the universe, I'm afraid, I'm looking forward, I want to have sex, I'm a virgin, I pee in the shower, I don't have nice teeth, my room is a mess and looks a little bit like a crack den, but I don't give... ONE... SINGLE... FLYING... FUCK.

And here endeth the lesson, I really had an idea for this blog but it slowly distanced itself from me as I rocketed into another universe.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU!!! I LOVE YOU ALL AND CAN"T WAIT TO SEE YOU GUYS AGAIN!

(Note: The title of this post was written before I smoked and had no intentions of it being a pun. Finished writing this post, looked up, and it was perfect.)

I need to know if this joke hits or not.

So this girl on OKCupid said in her profile that the most private thing she is willing to admit is that "One time...while watching Space Jam…I flew like an eagle"

Well, like all 99% of girls, she said she also needs a guy who is witty. This is my attempt.

"One time while watching Space Jam I got a golden shower"

Please comment with a "lol" for yes it hits like a mother fucker and "wtf?" for I don't get it and you are weird as fuck.

Thanks in advance guys!

Congratulations, bro

Looks like one of us finally made the big time

Why I love you all

Adrian: You're as dumb as you are smart. And you're one of the smartest people I know.

Jesse: You do what you want, because fuck the police. And by "police" I mean arbitrary concepts of normality based on perceived social constructs.

Scott: Underneath your hard shell of douche lies a soft Texas heart.

Joe: You may be a gay actor, but you're a straight shooter. Blog more.

Josh: Your angsty enthusiasm provides a life lens that colors the universe with a really cool metaphor that I can't quite finish right

John: You're smart without the dumb, hard without the soft, and straight without the gay. But when duty calls, you're as dumb, soft, and gay as they come. Happy birthday, hope you happen to read this sometime.

Just Plantin' sum Seeds

I feel like every time someone writes a cool blog post, I immediately cover it up the same day. But Jesse's eating baguettes next to the Eiffel Tower, so I give no fucks.


Y'all may have heard of this, but I just discovered it. Basically they've got a way to make a little self-sustainable house. Here's a simple diagram that kinda shows how all the shit works.

Can't write too much cuz I'm at work, but these are what we're building in the future for our lil film commune.  Three bedroom kit costs $8000. Deal with it.

http://themindunleashed.org/2013/12/10-reasons-earthships-fing-awesome.html

The Greenest of Thoughts

I just don't think there's anything new in it for me. I have this special muffin and I'm planning on going to a gigantic modern art museum tomorrow and eating it. Now that sounds like a great time. But I know what's gonna happen. I'm gonna wander around and have a hundred and twenty different revelations. I'll discover things about art, life, people. Ill discover things that will simplify my world. They'll make me see things clearly and with wonder and appreciation. And then ill fuckin forget it! Every last brilliant idea or precious new emotion that unlocked life-changing rooms will be lost. Even if I write it down it won't make any fucking sense. I'll never be able to draw a good enough map to find that heighten space, the time when my brain was firing on all cylinders. Because it's just that: a heightened place, a high. 

I think in a general sort of way, I've gotten what I wanted out of it. I get it now. The world is a wondrous and magical place, every last bit of it. It's helped give me these eyes and I'm gonna keep trying to see with them as often as I can. I just don't think I need to go back to the well a hundred more times to do that. I've listened to the same record too many times. It's lost its shine.

Now I feel like bringing these thoughts up might have some social implications. This blog has always been a place for honesty and as such I felt the need to share these thoughts. Our friendships were all strengthened by the often silly yet profound journeys we had while heightened. Any thought that I might stop would definitely cause some discomfort. I can already hear the word "bitch" coming out of, well everyone's mouth regardless of the love behind it. All that being said, I'm not quitting and I am going to have a great time at the museum tomorrow. Right now it's still too much fun to do while hanging with all of you. And maybe that's where it'll stay, a social thing. Or maybe sometime in the future, however near or far, I might make the decision to stop. Who knows? Regardless these are my thoughts on it today, they are quite green.

Ps I wrote this while eating a baguette and looking at the Eiffel Tower. Suck a dick.

My first, first date

I know that there have been rumors floating around, "ohh has Adrian gotten laid?" "Nah, I think he had a threesome" "well I heard he lasted 20 minutes in bed and gave the girl 3 orgasms" "yeah he fucked one of the Victoria's Secret fashion show models from last night" "Maybe he went full gay and fucked Ryan gosling?" Let me just settle this whole situation and tell you that I went on my first, first date from OKCupid.

It all started when I me and this girl like each other's profiles (which I have found is key to getting a girl to talk back). We talked and shit, but the thing is that this girl didn't include body type and she had no full body types. Was she disabled? Was she really big? What was she hiding? Well, another thing to note is that you shouldn't make your OKCupid username the same as your twitter, instagram, and pinterest. Long story short, I found pics. They were fine, kinda what I expected for a girl that's 5 feet tall.

Whatever, we decided to meet up anyways. I picked Steingarten LA, what seemed to be a nice gastropub near fox. I get there, she walks up, I decide handshake is protocol, she seems to go for a little wave, i take that as a hug sign, I hug her. We are both awkwarded out, laugh about it and we move on. I let her take the lead in getting the table.

We sit down, start talking, order a beer and appetizer, and soon realize that this is a hot spot for 60 year olds. They have a whole private party going on in the back and there are also two 60+ (maybe 70) women sitting right next to us. Now she didn't notice but one of them kept fucking looking over at me/the food and eaves dropping on our whole convo. She knew that it was a first date and I think she was intrigued but since she was old, she really had to lean in/look at me to get a whole feel as to what was going on. Fucking pressure was on!

So the food comes out (I ordered a deli board full of meats, which she agreed to) and she is like "well i should tell you that i haven't eaten meat in about a month to im going to tread lightly." I was like what the fuck why didn't you tell me bitch?? Whatever we moved on, talked for about 1.5 hours, we split the check, and now it was time to leave.

Again, I let her take the lead and she as the one that was like "Hey let's go chill outside." We went outside and then asked "What do you want to do now? Walk around? split ways? Chill?" I've never been in this situation, I don't know what the fuck to do, so i say the only thing i could, "I don't know." We chill there for a bit, talk, and then she decides she is going to split. I give her a hug and then we part.

And thus ends my first, first date. Will I see her again? I don't know. I'm not attracted to her that much, but as I was telling Adrian, I think she is good enough for me to dabble in.

TL;DR: I let her take the lead cause I didn't know what the fuck to do. Turned out to be a strangely ordinary date. I may dabble.

I met a girl

and within an hour convinced her to go to Paris with me. As of now she's leaving with me for a week.

Do I know if on Monday she'll be on the bus with me: no.
Do I know if we'll spend the afternoons wandering around a garden, eating brea and baguettes: no. Do I know if we'll make love under the Eiffel Tower: no.
Is my heart beating against my chest like the drums of some great army: yes. And it feels fucking great.

Bumper stickers

I was driving behind a car yesterday that had this bumper sticker that said "Party for a living." Then I noticed a bumper sticker next to it saying "Purelife: Straight-Edge."


That's all.

I dare anyone to have a more interesting conversation than I just did

The setup is that me and this girl both liked each others profiles so I decided to actually look at what she had written and not just her pictures. It turns out, all she could talk about was sleeping. I was about to not message her but Dan told me that I needed practice (probably true) and to do it anyways. So I went for knowing fully well that this could be the best conversation I have had. Here it is: