Riding a High

I write this with a belly packed with chicken, beans, rice, and a half bottle of wine and a lung filled with a couple of tokes of christmas trees:

It's Christmas Eve, only a couple of hours before Christmas day, and I just finished watching Fruitvale Station by myself. Was it the best choice of movie for tonight? Probably not but this Christmas Eve just feels like another day off anyways. This is not to say that I'm sad (even though I really would have loved to be with friends and family), this is only to update you on the feeling of the room I am in.

I feel quite the opposite actually. The last few weeks to a month have been great for me and my confidence. I have been able to make the most out of my shitty work situation of not having weekends off and tried to enjoy work and my alone time as much as I can.

(Quick note to self: Writing this high has become very difficult.)

And back to the story. So yeah, I have online dated, I've real life, on the spot, dated, and I have dated this one girl long enough that you could say that I'm dating her.

Quick side note: The second date was cool, we went to a bar played pool and shit, but I figured out that I have no physical attraction to her at all. I became disinterested half way through the date. She texted me today and said that she would have invited me to her family's christmas party if she knew I was going to be alone... I have stopped texting.

(Sorry I have to back track a little bit cause I am high.)

But most of this confidence came from finding friends at work and how one of them said: "You realize after a while, that everyone around you is weird." I know Adrian you have expressed these thoughts many times, but there is a difference between me hearing it and feeling it. This line is very important because it helps me feel comfortable in previously uncomfortable situations. Fuck everyone else, if they don't "get" you or want to "fuck" you, then "Fuck" her.

(ok this has become way too hard to write high. Last sentence above even surprised me, just sucker punched me square in the face.)

All I'm trying to say here is that I'm confident and I want to shout it from the rooftops of my building. I masturbate, I jerk off, I beat my dick into submission, I have weird fucking dreams, I love you all from the bottom of my fucking heart, my hands sweat a lot, my dick might have two distinct shades of light brown, I am lanky as shit, I think that I'm going to enjoy giving and getting oral sex, I will probably try to put my dick in a girl's ass if she is down and maybe just put my thumb in if she is a prude, I get sad, I get happy, I don't understand the universe, I'm afraid, I'm looking forward, I want to have sex, I'm a virgin, I pee in the shower, I don't have nice teeth, my room is a mess and looks a little bit like a crack den, but I don't give... ONE... SINGLE... FLYING... FUCK.

And here endeth the lesson, I really had an idea for this blog but it slowly distanced itself from me as I rocketed into another universe.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU!!! I LOVE YOU ALL AND CAN"T WAIT TO SEE YOU GUYS AGAIN!

(Note: The title of this post was written before I smoked and had no intentions of it being a pun. Finished writing this post, looked up, and it was perfect.)