Fuck me?

I don't know if you should put emphasis on the "fuck" or on the "me" in the title but I don't give a shit.

This is just one of the days where you come off the high train and think, did I get just get off at the wrong stop?

As some of you may know, I have been texting this girl that I met at the New year's party that I attended. She had finally gotten back to me 5 days after I sent her a text and I typed the best texting game that I could have for the next couple of days. I thought I was in, I mean, I asked her if she wanted to meet up and I got this response, "Sure. Do you want to drive around listening to Beyonce until we find the dopest spot to ghost ride the whip?"

Fuck, not only am I IN, but I am IN with a very cute girl with a seemingly awesome personality. Turned out she lives kinda far away but we were going to talk about specifics the next day. I text her the next day, she doesn't respond. I think whatever, it's a Saturday, she was probably doing shit.

Now comes Monday and I'm doing shit with Scott. He mentions to me that she has a great singing voice, which I knew about, and decides to play me one of her songs. In the midst of putting on clothes and getting ready for work, I realize that she has the voice of an angel. I even tell Scott that I can't wait to hear her moans.

I walk out of my apartment feeling great about the day because most likely I will be able to set something up with her. My phone buzzes, I look at the name, it's a text from the girl. Holy shit this is awesome!

Open it up, looks like a fine opening with "Hey Adrian..." I keep on reading, "I'm really busy this week..." ok, that's fine we can probably meet next week. Keep on reading "and I'm leaving soon..." Ok, that can't be good. "I'm sorry but I won't have time to meet up..." Jesus fucking christ this is not good! And the last punch in the gut, "Happy new year!" It's the fucking 13th of January, please don't wish me a new years!!! God damn it!!!

Which makes me think, how many times has this type of shit happened to me? Well, there was the girl that I tutored with sophomore year who I decided to ask out next time I see and of course never got to see again in the semester. There was the girl that supposedly went to Africa. There is the girl from Fox who I was going to ask out but somehow stopped doing nightshifts the week that I decided to do so and now this.

Like I just don't fucking get it. I want to believe that it's shitty luck but I don't know if it is. I'm still confident in myself but I'm really frustrated right now. Every time I decide to sack up and make a move, it just ends up not working out for some stupid reason.

The good thing that came from this is that most people doubted I could get this girl to talk to me and I proved to myself that I could do it. Hell I came kinda close to meeting up with her too. I just wish I could get some sort of break. So I'm frustrated as shit but know that I'm only getting closer.

Also: I probably wont get my contract renewed at my job so I will prob be working 3 days a week next month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!