That evening, after we had all recovered from the massive cookie intake, we were ready to try and have a good time. We had beers, we had weed, we were eager. We set ourselves up for success. We had a couple great hours and continued catching up, story swapping, general updating, which was all well and good, but we wanted to go out. We called Josh and Evan, and there were close by in Davis Square, and told us they wanted to come over. Twenty minutes later they were there, and the four of us hung out in the kitchen and caught up for a couple hours. Took a hit, drank a beer, it was nice. But we were still in the apartment, and it was already 11pm, the pressure was on. Josh and Evan needed to head for wanting to go home and chill reasons, so we walked them to the T, Jesse got a falafel, we came back. 11:30, Saturday, don't know what to do.
Jesse pulls a bold move and starts texting Chiara and Kaitlyn. Turns out they are out at a party somewhere drunk and dancing. Jesse's eyes light up because he wanted to get with Chiara. My stomach turns because Kaitlyn and I are fighting and I don't even know what the fuck it's about, and I don't want to see her. We debate it for a bit and I start texting Kaitlyn, but that line of communication quickly goes dead. Jesse is texting Kaitlyn and Chiara trying to make some magic happen. We find out that there are partying way in the South End. We look at the clock and it's about 12:15am. I insist that it's not possible. (By this time Alex is in the room and he is getting a huge kick out of our inability to decide what to do. He goes back and forth, saying, "I know you want to get with Chiara dude, but Kaitlyn and Joe are in a big fight, and that's unfair to throw them in the fire" and then a minute later saying, "Joseph, get over it dude, don't you see Jesse needs to get laid!?". What the core of the problem was this; Jesse wanted to get with Chiara, but Chiara and Kaitlyn weren't about to part ways that night. It was all or nothing. If Chiara comes over and crashes (we didn't even know where her and Jesse were going to sleep), Kaitlyn was going to come too, and Kaitlyn and I were going to be trapped in a cage match of relationship fighting. In one room, Kaitlyn and I would be fighting with our relationship on the line, and in the other room, Jesse would be sleeping with an incredibly beautiful girl. The stakes were fucking so high, and neither one of us were willing to back down.
Before anyone knew how or why really, Jesse and Alex were pinning me down on the bed, Alex trying to reach into my pants pocket to get my phone to text Kaitlyn, "Hey baby! I'm sorry I'm an insensitive idiot. Whatever I did was totally my fault. Come over and bring Chiara!". Jesse had wrapped around my back like a fucking sloth with my arms pinned, and Alex was trying to crush my legs, fingers trying to pry into my pocket. We were wrestling in the way twelve year old boys wrestle when they start pushing each other and no one wants to puss out. We were wrestling in the way where everyone was exhausted, red-faced, and hyper-ventilating but no one stopped. We were wrestling in the way that the immense, unstoppable desire to have sex with a beautiful woman collides head-on with the confused, angry pride of a man whose girlfriend is shaming him. My abs were tired, my arms were sore, my head hurt from head-butting Alex. Suddenly, Alex emerged from the brawl with my phone, and Jesse still had me pinned. In a desperate final act, I rolled backwards and slammed Jesse's head into the wall.
The room was at a stand-off, with Alex holding the phone. I cowardly threatened Alex that our friendship would be dented if he text Kaitlyn a lie, and he backed down. I crossed the line, and have been apologizing to Alex profusely ever since it happened. I knew that Alex would never want to disrespect my relationship with Kaitlyn, but I threaten him to try and get him to understand how high the stakes were for me. Either way, it a foul move, Jesse released me and we sat around panting. No one had won. We calmed down, drank a beer, listened to music, and went to bed...
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