An Attempt: Part One

I begin this story from a bed on the ground of a third floor studio apartment. To my right there is a dirty plate and glass; to my left is a blank wall.
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January 4th, 2013
I have just spent my first New Year's in Los Angeles. While it has only been four days since my arrival, my nerves are on the rise from a lack of work. I have not been working since November; I have yet to receive an email even remotely alluding to work. I am starting to panic.

That evening I decide to try something, something which I had intended to save for (at least) a little while longer. I can't, however, wait.
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June-July 2012
I am spending the best, albeit, last summer of my college life in Italy with my girlfriend, Ella. While the schoolwork is trying, the experience of traveling across the Italian countryside with new friends is something I hope never to forget.

The other kids in the program are of a mix of backgrounds, and almost all of them are great. My three roommates, Alvaro, James, and Andrea, are the nicest guys-- and I hope we stay in contact.

While there, I made a friend who told me that her father is a Gaffer. I, naturally, was very intrigued.
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January 4th, 2013
I decide to email the father of my friend from Italy. His response is short and to the point, "Let's try and chat Monday or Tuesday. -Jay"

I instantly feel a surge of anxiety. I don't know what to say or how to handle talking to this man. He knows as well as I do that anything he does for me is a risk for him. 

I collect myself and await his call.

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Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

I am sitting with Ella at a local Japanese Market called, Mitsua, when my phone rings. Immediately, I run out to my car and answer, trying my best not to pant from the 20 yard dash. 

We talk...

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Back at Ella's house, I pace back and forth. While on the phone, Jay put an idea into my head. He told me that he is going to New Mexico at the start of February for a feature. He lamented that he could only hire locals. It was then. 

We had been discussing other options prior to this. He had suggest moving. He said Los Angeles was in no shape for a kid like me, wanting to get on Union shows. He said New Orleans or Georgia would be his move.

I then spat it out. I had asked him if he would hire me, if I was a local in New Mexico. His response was a laugh and an, "of course." He didn't think I was too serious.

Ella is with me-- 100%

She says that I would be an idiot to miss this chance and we start looking into its probability.

We come up with a plan:

I go to New Mexico, work this job, get into the Union. Then I change my mailing address to a P.O. Box and head back to Los Angeles. Any time there is a show in New Mexico, I can come work on it. Any time there isn't a show, I'm in LA with all of my best friends.

Within five days, I have been approved for an apartment in Santa Fe.

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Sunday, January 20, 2013

I had planned to leave sooner, but it didn't make sense. Had I left, I would have arrived on the weekend and none of the businesses would be open-- Leasing Office, DMV, etc.

I say goodbye to you guys, and I say goodbye to Ella and her mom. 

The road trip begins.

adrian asking if clubhouse has volleyballs:

"Hi do you have any volleyball...balls?"

My Weekend With Jesse; Part Three: Friendly Toast and Max Brenner

Sunday morning we slept in and met Kaitlyn and Chiara at the Friendly Toast around 12:30. It was neutral territory, and everyone was down to met and get good food and talk. Kaitlyn was friendly towards me, and even went so far as to express to Jesse while I was in the restroom, "I'm glad to get to spent time with you while Joseph and I aren't fighting". So apparently we weren't fighting anymore. I'm still bamboozled at this point because I don't even know what I did. Overall, the brunch was pleasant, the food was great, and Chiara and Jesse didn't especially hit it off.

The mildness of the brunch made the previous night's brawling seem silly to me.

We parted ways, and that afternoon the girls had work to do, I had a three hour Mercutio meeting to go to, and Jesse went to go see a movie.

After the Mercutio meeting, and while Jesse was in the last 45 minutes or so of the movie, I met Kaitlyn in her room in the Little Building, and we had a huge fight. After an hour and a half, we emerged victorious, complete resolved, and both feeling great. And then I was overcome with the massive guilt of having not been present with Jesse with entire weekend, because my thoughts were always half with Kaitlyn. (Except for Salsa, that was dope). Poor Jesse, who had been sitting at Maria's Taquerias waiting for us to be done, met us in front of the LB.

Very excitedly, Kaitlyn and I explained to Jesse that we've fucked up, you deserve better Jesse, you just fucking didn't deserve to put up with our shit, (you deserve to go on a date with Chiara and it was go fucking welllllll), and we love you, Jesse, and we're sorry. We said that even though we both have class early in the morning, we were willing to commit super hard to this sunday night and go on whatever crazy adventure Jesse wanted to go on. Because that's all poor Jesse wanted. To have a dope ass adventure. Jesse accepted our apology, and we started brainstorming.

The adventure we had wasn't crazy, but it was very fun. We walked in the cold to Max Brenner's at around 11:45pm, and one of my friends working there got us free chocolate fondue. We hung out there, left around 12:30, ran and caught a bus back to central, and stayed up drinking beers and talking. This morning at around 7:45 am, Jesse gently laid on top of us, said his goodbyes, and went to south station to catch his bus.

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This three part post has been a love letter. A love letter to Jesse for coming to Boston to hang out and for forgiving me for not always being able to be present with him. A love letter to Adrian and Argentina for still being friends with me even when I didn't put as much effort as I should have in hanging out with you guys for our last semester together in Boston. And this is a love letter to Scott and Josh because we've allowed our friendships to kind of float away a little bit, and that's bullshit.

I hope this post hasn't ended in a lame way, because I coming from a place of just fucking missing everyone. I hope everyone is doing fucking awesome, and I've had an hilarious time catching up on all the blogging I've missed.

My Weekend With Jesse: Part Two; I slammed Jesse's head against a wall

That evening, after we had all recovered from the massive cookie intake, we were ready to try and have a good time. We had beers, we had weed, we were eager. We set ourselves up for success. We had a couple great hours and continued catching up, story swapping, general updating, which was all well and good, but we wanted to go out. We called Josh and Evan, and there were close by in Davis Square, and told us they wanted to come over. Twenty minutes later they were there, and the four of us hung out in the kitchen and caught up for a couple hours. Took a hit, drank a beer, it was nice. But we were still in the apartment, and it was already 11pm, the pressure was on. Josh and Evan needed to head for wanting to go home and chill reasons, so we walked them to the T, Jesse got a falafel, we came back. 11:30, Saturday, don't know what to do.

Jesse pulls a bold move and starts texting Chiara and Kaitlyn. Turns out they are out at a party somewhere drunk and dancing. Jesse's eyes light up because he wanted to get with Chiara. My stomach turns because Kaitlyn and I are fighting and I don't even know what the fuck it's about, and I don't want to see her. We debate it for a bit and I start texting Kaitlyn, but that line of communication quickly goes dead. Jesse is texting Kaitlyn and Chiara trying to make some magic happen. We find out that there are partying way in the South End. We look at the clock and it's about 12:15am. I insist that it's not possible. (By this time Alex is in the room and he is getting a huge kick out of our inability to decide what to do. He goes back and forth, saying, "I know you want to get with Chiara dude, but Kaitlyn and Joe are in a big fight, and that's unfair to throw them in the fire" and then a minute later saying, "Joseph, get over it dude, don't you see Jesse needs to get laid!?". What the core of the problem was this; Jesse wanted to get with Chiara, but Chiara and Kaitlyn weren't about to part ways that night. It was all or nothing. If Chiara comes over and crashes (we didn't even know where her and Jesse were going to sleep), Kaitlyn was going to come too, and Kaitlyn and I were going to be trapped in a cage match of relationship fighting. In one room, Kaitlyn and I would be fighting with our relationship on the line, and in the other room, Jesse would be sleeping with an incredibly beautiful girl. The stakes were fucking so high, and neither one of us were willing to back down.

Before anyone knew how or why really, Jesse and Alex were pinning me down on the bed, Alex trying to reach into my pants pocket to get my phone to text Kaitlyn, "Hey baby! I'm sorry I'm an insensitive idiot. Whatever I did was totally my fault. Come over and bring Chiara!". Jesse had wrapped around my back like a fucking sloth with my arms pinned, and Alex was trying to crush my legs, fingers trying to pry into my pocket. We were wrestling in the way twelve year old boys wrestle when they start pushing each other and no one wants to puss out. We were wrestling in the way where everyone was exhausted, red-faced, and hyper-ventilating but no one stopped. We were wrestling in the way that the immense, unstoppable desire to have sex with a beautiful woman collides head-on with the confused, angry pride of a man whose girlfriend is shaming him. My abs were tired, my arms were sore, my head hurt from head-butting Alex. Suddenly, Alex emerged from the brawl with my phone, and Jesse still had me pinned. In a desperate final act, I rolled backwards and slammed Jesse's head into the wall.

The room was at a stand-off, with Alex holding the phone. I cowardly threatened Alex that our friendship would be dented if he text Kaitlyn a lie, and he backed down. I crossed the line, and have been apologizing to Alex profusely ever since it happened. I knew that Alex would never want to disrespect my relationship with Kaitlyn, but I threaten him to try and get him to understand how high the stakes were for me. Either way, it a foul move, Jesse released me and we sat around panting. No one had won. We calmed down, drank a beer, listened to music, and went to bed...

My Weekend With Jesse: Part One; Salsa Dancing and Giant Cookie

Friends, Romans, Senators, lend me your ears.

After an extended blog hiatus caused my distraction, forgetfully, and general doucheyness, I have returned. Allow me to offer this story as an apology for my absence.

It started with salsa dancing...

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Alex invited Jesse and I, as well as others, to a free salsa dancing class/workshop over at MIT. The class was from noon to 3pm, and we were going in a group of about seven. Chiara came to workshop, but Kaitlyn wasn't able to because she was at work. When we got to the class, everyone nervously hung up their coats, stowed their bags in the corner, and prepped for what some feared would be a hard-ass salsa class. Fortunately, the class was split up into beginners and advanced dancers, each group with it's own teacher. We all went to the beginner side, and joyfully spent the next two hours dancing in a big circle and learning an array of simple but fun salsa moves. While I enthusiastically struggled, Jesse fucking owned it. After a while Jesse, who never danced salsa, was teaching other people moves. Him and Chiara also got some sweet dance time together. And... well... I wouldn't say sparks were flying between them, but there were some embers, and everyone was on their hands and knees and shit trying to blow into the base of their romance. The third hour was "free dancing", which was just goofing around with all of our new moves we learned.

After the class we all went to lunch, and then went to Shaw's to buy stuff to bake cookies at home. We got back to the apartment, kicked up our feet, put on some music, and began baking cookies. (Chiara had left by this point because she had to be at work). We were baking one sheet of double chocolate cookies, and then another sheet was dedicated to making a single giant m+m cookie. In the middle of the cookie fun, however, Kaitlyn gives me a call.

I go to my room to talk to her in private and answer the phone with something like, "Hey baby! Are you done with work? How are you doing? Do you want to come over and bake cookies?". To which she answered with something like, "Joseph, I just want to let you know that I am very frustrated with you over something you did, but I don't want to tell you now, I just want to let you know that you're in trouble, and yes I want to come over, and no, we won't talk about it when I get there". As perhaps you might guess, I was fucking flabbergasted. I bit my tongue though, tried to think reasonably about the situation, and invited her over.

When I went back to the kitchen, there was a wild bet going on. The giant m+m cookie, having been brought out of the oven and half eaten, was lying on the table. Everyone was stuffed. Somehow the room agreed that if Lee can eat the second half of the giant cookie in the next 25 minutes, Emily, Kelly, and Michelle are going to show him their boobs. The race was on.

Just then, Kaitlyn arrived and I greeted her tentatively in the hall. I judged that my mysterious offence was not serious enough to talk about now, but that Kaitlyn was in a terrible mood. So I was in a terrible mood. Then she expressed to me that she really doesn't condone the cookie/boob bet. Without getting into details, we fought about it.

An hour later, Kaitlyn had left in a huff, Lee had lost and was unable to eat the cookie, and I was angry, confused, and guilty that I wasn't able to focus on spending time with Jesse. An overall tragedy...

a...anonymous?

so i was just web-cruisin and i came across some US government site that anonymous hacked? is this a thing or did this just happen? their statement sounded like they were threatening to detonate a warhead? what is going on? im too high for this?

Advice Blog: Blacksploitation

So I need y'alls' advice.

I have a friend at school and he has a script. He claims he wants all of us (my friend group around Emerson and my apartment) to help him fulfill his dream of making said film together.

He has had a lot of struggles and suffers from Bi-Polar Disorder and ADD.

I want to make this film. It's a blackslpoitation film and he has written all of his close friends a part in the movie. I want to DP this because it sounds like a grand fucking time.

That being said, he doesn't want my help. He's very cold towards me even though all I want to do is help. Even my friend Paige, who is supposed to DP it, wants me to DP it.

He wants it to be fun. And fun can still be had. But an ounce of seriousness could make this go from a waste of time to a fully realized idea. I don't have the time to be making this film for shits and giggles on weekends with friends.

It doesn't have to be submitted to festivals and it's not for classes, but I would love to be able to help perpetuate a project my friend group here will be proud of.

Do I voice my opinion about how this could go and what we would need to do when we have a "production meeting" this weekend? Do I go Douche City and give an ultimatum and walk out on it? At this point, it will never get made. I want it to get made.

What is the best way to go about getting my friends to be more serious about this project and also helping me perpetuate, DP, and add Black Wolf: Out For Blood onto  my resume and reel?