Pork Chop Gives Out A Joint

Alright so some crazy ass shit just went down. Jesse and I are still in disbelief.

So we went to a UCB improv show tonight, and it was awesome. After the show, Jesse and I both need to poop. Briefly, to provide context to the story, Jesse's toilet has been clogged all day, so we haven't been able to shit. Earlier in the day, Jesse had to crap in a Venice Beach public toilet, which is very similar to Hell, and I had to crap in a CVS bag. This is a desperate situation, we both need to poop real hard.

We go to the restroom, and find that there is only one proper unisex bathroom where we can poop. We get in line. Jesse goes in first and I am next.

The woman behind me says loudly, "Man that show was awful". Looks at me and says, "Didn't you think that show was terrible?"

"No, it was great"

"No, it was terrible"

Then her boyfriend hollers at me like, "Hey dude come over here the men's toilet is free"

I say, "No thanks, I have to poop"

Then the bitch in front of me is like "Let me go in front of you, I don't want to smell your fucking shit when I'm pissing"

I pause, thinking. "No. I'm in front of you"

Just then, a cute porky girl taps me on the shoulder, "Excuse me, can I use the restroom really fast? I spilled coke on foot, and just need to splash some water on it."

I pause, thinking. "Sure"

Jesse comes out, Pork Chop goes in, then the bitch spends a good minute telling me off, saying Im an asshole, Im not a gentlemen, My mother wouldnt approve. You have a bad relationship with your mother, dont you? I'm sorry your mother hates you, but that doesnt me you have to take it out on me by making me smell your tude.

Then the bitch storms off. Pork Chop comes out. She looks at me, and hands me a fat fucking joint, with the dankest shit Jesse and I have ever seen.

"Thanks"

And now gentlemen, we are about to smoke that shit, and stumble over to Melina's to get a plunger. Good day to you, sirs.