2014

Listen:

2014 has been over for a while for me. I gave up on it a few months ago. I decided not a whole lot could change in a short amount of time and set yet another reset date for January 1^st, 2015. It’s about as cliché as it gets, but hopefully this cliché gets me on the right path for 2015.

This isn’t to say 2014 was all bad. I graduated from school. I went on a trip to Yosemite. I have a job.

I’m struggling to come up with things that make 2014 stand out. Those are the obvious ones to me. There were individual moments and weekends that made this year memorable at all, but when I look back upon 2014, it’s kind of a flash.

Now, a voice in my head just yelled, “Well what about the weed?” to which I respond, “Yeah, what about the weed?” Everyday, pretty much. Everyday I smoked. Sometimes I smoked 24/7. Sometimes I took breaks. Sometimes I forgot to take breaks. And some might say it’s unhealthy. And I’d say, the conclusion I’ve come to is that I need to live by a creed I once had about weed: only on weekends. And special events. But I fell into a pothead lifestyle having surrounded myself in its sheath for the past year. And now I see what I need to do.

You see, I thought that weed, being the mind-expanding drug I know it to be and have embraced as such, would help me be more present. And in many instances it made me experience things more vividly, or so I tell myself. And as I sit here smoking a joint, after spending the night smoking a bong and the afternoon on the same joint, I know now and can see that weed is fun. Weed is great. Weed isn’t needed all the time and if I need it just to be mindful and present, then I’ve got a bigger problem on my hand than a smoking habit.

So 2015 is going to be a new year to add to the books. And 2014 is there too. But I use this to make myself better. I’m going to be the me I wanna be and goddamnit the only person that can stop me is myself. So, as I have done in years past, I declare 2015: BETTER ME 2015.

I want to make more things. I want to read more books. I want to go to more comedy shows. I want to start doing stand up. I want to be more committed to my friends. I want to be more committed to my family. I want to be more committed to Martial Arts, to Photography, to writing, to shooting, to making, to doing. I want to be more committed to myself.

I am going to be a better me.

And I hope I mean it this time.

And one of my biggest regrets is not hanging with you bros enough. See, my hope is that with weed cut down to mostly weekends, I will drive out to see you guys more often. I miss you guys in my life. Its been lonely over here and its all my fault. Its gonna happen, so get ready.

See you guys in 2015. Let’s start killing it.