LPT

Let Me Take You Down

During my time with Jenna, I was often immersed in her Christian/Catholic (I don't really know the difference), half-conservative, societally-normal family.  Certain instances and statements made by people in the family still stick in my mind as times when I could have either argued and/or explored a topic or concept more thoroughly.  Unfortunately, I never really had the courage to speak up and start those big conversations, so now their potentials just play in my mind every now and then. So now I give you a sampling of where my thoughts go when my mind goes down these paths.  Then I suggest some shit, then kinda apologize for suggesting it, then kinda lose you, but you'll get there.

GOD, LABELS, AND EVERYTHING

Mrs. Adelsberger once said how she thought everyone should go into nature and just listen, and eventually you'll hear God speak.  I didn't push her further because I was afraid of conflict, or starting a religion-based argument.  But I think I know exactly what she's talking about.  I feel like I may even have a better understanding of it than she does.*  Anyways, the words "God" and "speak" seem to me like simple labeling mistakes in an attempt to fit in with the cultural/Christian conventions.  Almost like trying to add this special godly dimension onto what you're doing, and elevating the experience.  But in my view of things, the simpler answer is the righter one (Occam's Razor, yo).  When you go out into nature and listen to nature, you hear nature.  By attaching God to the experience, you attempt to portray the experience as being above the experience of usual everyday passing moments.  For me, I find better understanding by getting below that everyday experience.  Based on my own experience as well as what I've observed, people tend to live from moment to moment and day to day a bit disconnected from nature (mainly talking about our society/culture here), and I think believing that a God-Dude is behind all this moves people further in the wrong direction from nature.

When I imagine this conversation with the Adelsbergers unfolding, I feel like it would come up that I'm an "Atheist."  Or an "Agnostic."  This opens another trapdoor that eventually leads back to the first thing I was talking about, so let's go down it.  Atheist and Agnostic are not groups of people that believe one thing or another.  They're just words that we slap onto these people after grouping them together based on some qualification that they do or don't meet.  Then after we've grouped them together and slapped this word on them, we take that word and assign feelings, connotations, associations, etc.  We do this because this is how the human brain functions.  This is not a representation of what people or nature or the universe actually is.  8=D Labels and genres are our own creations (same could be said about God) that we slap onto the universe/all things in order to reduce it to something our brains can comprehend.  But when you go out into nature, and you listen to nature, I think this is what you (I) realize.  That everything is just everything, and it's all just kind of floating around, and you're in with it.  And this soup of everything just floats, and from where you sit, trying to wrap your head around it all, it stretches out in every direction for as far as everything is, which is as far as far is.  Yeah, you can label it.  As a human, you kind of have to, and I don't think that that's a bad thing, as long as you understand that things are not their labels.  Remove all those labels and the universe is absolutely fascinating and endlessly beautiful in all its forms.  And you exist now with the power to explore all its parts in any way you can imagine.

CALL TO ACTION

When you repeat a word over and over and over again, you detach it from it's label and see it for the weird little thing that it is, either the odd marks on a page or the arbitrary stringing together of sounds made with your mouth.  This is what I'm talking about.  Just writing that gives me the idea that you can get to this point of understanding nature in this way by simple repetition, like feeling a leaf over and over and over again until the preconception and learned idea of "leaf" is completely removed, and you come to re-understand the leaf as the weird thing that it is.  But where I was going with this before I had that thought was to just go and listen to nature, like what this blog was kind of supposed to be about.  Sometime this week, go out into nature.  Set maybe an hour aside, maybe you won't even need that long, but I'd say at least half an hour, to sit in nature.  Close your eyes to all the things you give labels to, and stop thinking your thoughts, which only ever distract you from the infinite soup of everything that you're sitting in.  And listen to nature, and hear nature, and just let whatever happens happen, as long as you're listening and hearing nature.  And don't try to get above your everyday experience, but try to get below it.

*THOUGHTS ON THOUGHTS

I started writing this as just an entry in my thought-journal thingy, because I replay these imagined potential conversations all the time in my head, and I just want to get them out so I can replace them with new thoughts.  I hate to come across like I know more than other people, because half the time I feel like I don't know anything at all.  And I definitely think I came across that way in this writing.  But all I know is what I know, and for me I really love this way of understanding everything.  I'm still working at it, and it's mostly fleeting moments when I can see things this way, but I know it's there, and to me something about it seems really true.  I'm very aware that those last couple sentences could be said word-for-word by some Christian missionary or someone trying to force their views like that on others, and that's something I really don't like.  So fuck me, right?  Anyways, I'm still posting this because there's gotta be some shred of value in here based solely on how fucking long this post is.  So in closing I will say this:  if you see something especially douchey/wrong about anything call me out on it and also you guys are at least as interesting/coherent as I am and I feel like I've been dominating the blog (quantity-wise), so Imma chill out after this post and hopefully hear how you guys are all doing.

TL;DR:  That's fine.  Took me long enough to just highlight it in TextEdit to copy over here, definitely too long to read lol.  But to get you interested, I threw a penis in there that you can go try to find.

Runaway Dog pt. 02 - The Thrilling Finale

She found the dog.

Runaway Dog pt. 01

My boss's neighbor has a pug that comes to visit sometimes.  His name is Oscar.  Oscar's owner is often out of town, and she has to leave Oscar locked up in a room for days at a time.  This leaves Oscar with a bundle of pent up energy, and an unquenchable thirst for pats, scratches, and bellyrubs.

Today Oscar came over.  Oscar followed my boss around all morning wherever she went, stopping only to rub up against my leg while I scratched his back.  After a couple hours, Oscar finally began to tire out and quiet down.  Eventually he was so tired and quiet that it was almost like he wasn't even in the room.

That's when we realized Oscar was gone.  The gate on the deck was open and he wasn't anywhere in the house.  "This could be the end of this dog," my boss muttered on her way out to search the neighborhood. "Just what I need today."

Pleasin da Pussy

Givin' 'er the ol' Texas Tail Tug.

Cool shit from the interwebs

FUCK CARS!!!!

I FUCKING HATE CARS!!! FUCK THEM ALL!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The last 31 Days

Obviously I've been going through a lot. I broke up with my girlfriend, I went back to camp, I started running and working out, I've been limiting my internet usage, and I made a drastic change to the way I treat my body.

I haven't masturbated in 31 days. I've had the willpower to not masturbate. It actually isn't as hard as it sounds. I think even saying what day I'm on everyday makes me proud that I have the ability to do such a thing.

I've noticed an obvious rise in irritability (naturally), but I haven't really had an urge to masturbate. I'm trying to keep this up for another 60 days and complete a 90 challenge of no masturbation. My guess is I'll keep not masturbating after it is over. I feel good. More energy, better focus, more willpower, working out, social ability upgrade. I think that this will make me less of a pussy and want to talk to women also. Y'know, I just don't need to jerk it.

How are y'all?

Argentina's Dating Tips

I've been kinda-maybe dating this girl, and I gotta say, I have one man to thank for my successes.  Without the invaluable dating-wisdom dished out by our own Argentina, I'd surely be floundering in a sea of my own loneliness.  So without further ado, let's get to 'em.

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TIP #1: "You gotta look good."

This one really saved me some hassle and heartbreak.  When you're spending an evening out with that potential special-someone, there's one thing that matters above all else; and that thing is looks.  Looking good is what separates the miserable, ignorant masses from the elite and euphoric models of human capacity.  Without a hot, sexy image, only one thing is for certain: you are nobody.  Unless dying alone is the end for which you seek, you should be hitting up the mall unceasingly, lest you find yourself wearing last month's fashion or even worse, dressing like a pathetic plebeian who has never even considered the significance of color-matching.  Any time spent away from optimizing your outward appearance is simply a waste of life, so get your shit together and look good.

TIP #2: "You have to be energized."

Again, my man really came through in the clutch with this one.  I know that most fellas new to the game might think of a drowsy, sleepy lady as the perfect date, but this is where talking to a seasoned-pro like Argentina pays dividends.  According to Arge, women actually prefer their date to be awake.  I'm still unclear on exactly how this one works, but here are the essentials: if you are conscious and sentient during the time spent with your lady-friend, then in some way you may actually stand a better chance of making a "positive impression."  Argentina suggests sleeping before the date, thus allowing your brain to be cognizant whilst your body is in proximity to the female's.  Follow this tip and who knows, you may even end up speaking together!

TIP #3: "Tell her you love her...?"

This is a tried and tested strataGEM in the world of dating.  When you're testing the waters with a new girl, there can be some uncertainty as to how the water feels.  Many novices spend this period of uncertainty trying to get to know their new partner, escalating the relationship at a steady pace that both members are comfortable with.  This is wrong.  There is only one correct method of closing out a fun and casual first date: tell her that you love her.  Let's face it, girls love love.  Before The Beatles were making real music, they sang a bunch of songs about love, and girls literally lost their shit.  Even armed policemen were no match for the lunacy unleashed by girls hearing the word "love" a lot.  And as we all know, wondering what someone thinks of you can lead to all sorts of anxiety, paranoia, and uneasiness.  Telling your date that you are in love with her will immediately ease all her worries, allowing a new romance to blossom unrestrained by the bounds of reason.

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This concludes the priceless pointers handed down to me from Dating Guru Argentina.  May each and every one of you follow these tips to a happier future filled with devoted passion and passionate devotion.  I love you all!

-Adrian

Chattin with Jesse

Usual Dream

In half-asleep state, I notice people walking down the hallway.  I can see their feet through the crack beneath the door to my room…person after person after person, a long line of people filing down the hallway to Ella's room. It's like 3:30 in the morning.  The door to my room opens and I realize Scott must be back.  Scott and Adrian come into my room and convince me to get out of bed to come to the party, which is in Ella's room down the hall, which I had never been told was happening.  It's happening in honor of Scott returning, and he literally just got back.  Alright.  Put on a polo shirt and go to her room to socialize.  Kate Lockhart from high school is there but doesn't remember who I am, even though she's been dating a kid who was a friend of mine since we were all in high school.  Whatever, she's annoying anyways.  Another girl asks me for a can opener because she wants to make beans.  I go to the kitchen, which is a super-nice kitchen, and start looking.  Alex Neher, who also lives in this apartment with Ella and me, is chilling there.  I start talking to him about how everyone's been gone and how I've been all alone at the apartment, and how I'm glad everyone's back.  I discover another cool cutting board feature in our kitchen.  Ella comes in and I remember I'm looking for the can opener, but she says it's probably a bad idea for drunk people to be cooking over an oven, and I realize that that's probably smart, and I don't want to look for this dumb can opener anyways because I have no idea where it is. 

Yada yada yada, I'm at a beach in the early morning, got here before the crowd, which means that I can watch porn here.  Open up my computer and start watching some porn.  The chick isn't doing it for me, and maybe I shouldn't jerk off on this popular beach in Los Angeles, so I put it away and take the sideways elevator back to a different stop on the third floor.  I realize the elevator is about to stop again on the third floor before my stop, with my floor-3 button still lit up from being pressed.  This is gonna be embarrassing--it's bad enough to take the elevator down a single floor, but I'm not even going up or down, I'm just going to a different spot on the same floor.  When the doors open, I pretend like I just came up and get out of the elevator.  I cut through the carpeted preschool/dormitory common room-type area back to my apartment.

That time when you realize...

You have been saying to yourself "Wow, I should really trim my pubes today" for a whole month now.

Probably not going to do it until the road trip. Fuck it, nobody is looking down there anyways.

P.S: just noticed that this was the 399th blog. who is going to get 400? Ohh nevermind, it's 367 published and then some drafts, so we are from it.

New Moon

Adventure Park Observations

As many of you already know, I'm working at a ropes course this summer and it's a great temporary job even though I'm not getting enough hours. I had never experienced the stereotypical summer job so often seen in movies until now. Jobs like lifeguarding, camp counseling, refereeing(?), carnival staffing, taco belling all have a laid back, community feel to them that I wasn't sure was real until I became a monitor at this park. I don't know if it's the temporary nature of the job, the fact that it's summer, or the ridiculousness of it all that warrants co-workers to give just a bit less of a fuck than they would at a normal job. For example, the last two days i have worked from 2pm til 8pm and not one person came to the park to climb during that time. What the fuck do we do? Play wiffle ball of course and then a little bit of home run derby. Yesterday we didn't have the bat or the ball so a bunch of people made some awesome looking sticks/staffs/swords while we talked about Black Dynamite. Time went a little bit slow but it was all very enjoyable. My manager also fucked me with his laid-blackness laid-backness cause he took forever to train me and put me into the schedule and now that I'm on it, he does it only three days in advance. But whatever, it's the summer, I'm working out, I'm chillin (wish I had you guys nearby), I'm playing basketball and soccer, I'm watching great docs on Netflix and I'm preparing for a road trip. Can't knock on that. And that seems to be the vibe with most of the people I work with.

Now on to some people I have seen at the park:

-The YOLO-er: This fucking kid (prob 7-9 yrs. old), was bitching about getting past this obstacle which was basically a swing across two platforms. It took nearly 10 mins to get him to go across and then he yells "YOLO! YOLO!! YOLO!!!" what the fuck is wrong with this new generation? Hey kid, you swung across two platforms with nothing to worry about, how about you do that without a harness and fall to your death so then I can yell "YOLO!"

-The Pisser: Felt really bad for this 7 year old who got so scared he pissed his pants. Tried to kinda hide it but when there is a dark spot the size rhode island on your shorts, one hand covering your crotch is not going to do it. (I really did feel awful for the kid).

-The Switcher: I have seen many kids do this, one minute they are so excited to go zip-lining and try this whole thing out, the next they are yelling out "staff" to be rescued and be brought down at once. Don't know why it happens but it does, I'm just going to blame the parents.

Alright this is it for now, I'm off to bed to wake up tomorrow and know that I'm one day closer to being in LA and seeing most of you!

shit blog 07

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and as such I have not yet alerted my boss to the pile of dog shit lying in the corner of her bathroom.  As long as nobody knows about it, it's not hurting anyone, right? Doesn't smell or anything. I even stepped on it yesterday morning and none of it stuck to my shoe, just held its form.  I think I'll give it a few more days before I feel obligated to say something.

Unusual Dream

I’ve noticed the blog has been pretty vacant lately. It’s my first real day off in Atlanta and I decided I’d start by telling y’all about this dream I had about a week ago.

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There is this traveler. He wanted to travel through time to meet the leaders of the past but time isn’t simply forward or backwards; it moves left to right, up and down and spins about like a swing dancer. So he found himself in a well kept black Oldsmobile driving through the neighborhoods of Chicago. The year was the same. Two men accompanied him. He told them he was a reporter. One, a black man in his forties with sharp alert eyes, drove quietly. The other was a much older man whom he sat next to. That man, distinguished and charismatic, was an eighty-year-old Malcolm X. As they drove, Malcolm told the traveler of his work. The programs he put into place in the very communities they drove past. The traveler nodded and took notes. He asked of the other communities around the US he had touched, the last forty years of work and how he felt about the impact he has had throughout his life. Malcolm smiled wide, he took pride in all he had been able to accomplish, never forgetting to pause and acknowledge the breath of issues still yet to overcome. Malcolm mused, looking out at the building he saw the community he still dreams of creating. As the interview came to an end, the car pulled over and the three gentlemen got out. The traveler thanked the driver first, and then walked over to Malcolm. As the traveler’s hand touched the brilliant old man’s for the first time an incredible sight came over Malcolm. He saw fifty years in the traveler’s past, to his last speech and the world that grew from that day, to him much like roots growing darker as they move away from a plant. The traveler watched as this wave of impossible time flowed over Malcolm bringing the two to a greater understanding than their hour of conversation ever could. And as the strange light left Malcolm’s eyes he looked to the traveler and said, “that was really quite beautiful”. Gesturing his hand turning over and back again he simply said, “onto the page and off of the page and onto the page again”.

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I don’t usual dream that Malcolm X is alive.