New Years

Happy New Years guys. I am calling it a night, so I hope everyone is getting drunk and fucked for me. Before I forgot, just wanted to let you guys know I love the shit out of each one of you.

John and Adrian...

don't suck. I'm sorry I said that. I just thought I would write Haikus for everyone, but then I got bored, so I just decided to rip on you guys. I think you are both handsome, respectful young men.

John, I envy your drunken adventures this break. I haven't been drunk or high this entire break.

The choices we make

The time is 3:38 AM. About an hour and a half ago I felt like watching a movie. I decided it was in my best interests to choose The Shining.

I call "oops" on myself. Still have an hour to go. Not sleeping tonight. My mistake..

I fucking DOUBT it

Also, is there a better way to celebrate the holiday season than by watching the NBS Promo Video? I doubt it.

...nice...

The Cat Hunt

Earlier this week my friend Alex was given a house and eight cats to take care of. The family that lives in the house has no control of their pets and did not let them inside before the blizzard.

So, there was a blizzard.

Day 0: We take roll call of the cats. There are three cats missing.

Day 1: The hunt begins. Alex and I launch into a perimeter search of the house. There are cat prints moving towards the backyard. The prints lead us in circles. There is snow in our shoes and we are becoming tired. The basement windows have screens in front of them. We notice some of the windows in the back were ripped open. Alex sticks his hand into one of the screens. Nothing. He dips his hand in another and pulls out the most skittish, shifty, grey and white cat of them all, Ridley. Ridley tries to escape from Alex's hands; it'd rather die than go back in the house. He throws the cat inside.

ONE CAT DOWN. TWO CATS TO GO.

Day 2: We arrive at the house in snow pants and boots. We are ready. Alex goes to open the door so we can plan our search when I hear a soft meow behind me. I motion to Alex to pause. Behind me, nothing. To the right, nothing. The left, nothing. The sound gets louder yet we see no cat. Suddenly, Alex points up and I see the kind-hearted, grey cat Lilith looking at us the roof. We get a chair, Alex grabs Lilith from the face and throws her inside the house.

TWO CATS DOWN. ONE CAT TO GO.

Later That Day: We arrive back at the house from our search and there stands the long-haired, orange and black Sweet Potatoe. The cat is grabbed with equal violence and tossed in the house. Here is the kicker: Sweet Potatoe wasn't missing. When doing roll call a cat was identified to be Sweet Potatoe. This cat is short-haired, orange and black. This is not Sweet Potatoe. We ask the family if they have any knowledge of owning a cat with these features. They do not.

Explaination, a stray cat has been living in the house without the family knowing.

TWO CATS DOWN. ADDITIONAL CAT FOUND. ONE CAT TO GO.

Day 3: We suit-up extra rough today. Snow pants on, snow jacket, tracking materials, we are ready. Alex and I have also added another member to the search party, David. We arrive at the house. Before we get to the door we see the loving, long-haired, grey Desdemona. We gently take the cat inside. David pulls out a joint.

THREE CATS DOWN. ADDITIONAL CAT FOUND.

CAT HUNT SUCCESS!

Jesse is a floppy

dick

..and why do me and john suck?

Doug

...

Wait...What?

Wait...Joe...Why do I suck?

I thought we were pals...friends......lovers....

Jello Shots

So last night me and my friend's brother made over 200 jello shots...let me say that again...we made over 200 jello shots...in my kitchen...it was like a meth-lab in my kitchen. At one point my grandma did a jello shot with a spoon. It was disgusting.

Then me and my friends decided, "Hey, we should get some beer and call up chicks." Basically the plan was as follows; Get Drunk. Get Fucked.

So when estimating the quantity of libations needed, it was proposed around 60 beers.

"Yo, bro. How much shit do we need?" "I don't know, like a 30, or something." "Yeah, a rail." "Yo, a rail won't even get the 3 of us drunk." "You're right." "Absolutely." "So a rail and a 12?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Wait...but we gotta have enough to get us drunk and get bitches fucked up, too." "He's right." "Damn straight." "2 rails, please."

With 60 beers in hand, we set off into the night looking for a grand spectacle of imbibation. An hour and 200 text messages to any contact in your cell phone that hinted at having a vagina later, we found ourselves sitting in Toph's basement solemnly cracking Bud Lights. But then a girl showed up...nay...2 girls...and it was on. Things got wild, and things got tricky. The turns of the night went something like this; We need to get beer, get girls and get fucked up! We got the beer, where are the girls? We have 60 beers and there's only 3 of us. The girls aren't coming...drink. Some girls are coming? Well fuck! There's kind of a lot of people here. Holy shit, Toph, there's a lot of people in your fucking house! house! Dude, this is fucking bumpin'. Jello shots! I'm drunk. Everyone's drunk. ALkjodjoijajfs. Holy shit, it's 5am--time to make tacquitos. We're out of beer? How is that even possible? We bought SIXTY BEERS! zzzzzzz.

At one point, I ended up making out with a girl sitting on my friend's lap...it was semi-homo-erotic and as close to verging on an eiffel tower as I ever want to get, I must admit. Now it's 1pm the next day and I'm not sure if I'm sober. I am sure, however, that I'm going to pass out for the next 5 hours.

Adrian, here's some tips. Fly that scar flag high. Buy a leather jacket. Buy tight black jeans. Cuff your jeans far too high. Put a skateboard bearing over your marriage finger. Wear business socks. Act aloof. Don't speak to anyone. Just drink heavily. When anyone tries to offend you, just look at them.........and then take a drink (don't break eye contact). Only speak to women with eyebrow movements or subtle hand motions. Don't give a fuck. When all else fails, give them the bird.

holiday haikus

Scotty is tall

He likes to DP alot

Suck my balls, bitchhead

Jesse has a beard

A frustrated screenwriter

This Haiku is a trap

Argentina has

a raging, fat set of balls

number 1 creeper

alright well this idea was funny to me earlier but now im bored.

Adrian sucks

John sucks

I think we should organize a beer olympics of our own next semester.

finger cut

So I cut myself while cutting bread yesterday and it was pretty deep so it will definitely leave a scar. I know girls love scars and guys that are bad ass so I wasn't sure whether to have a band aid on it or to have the scar out in the open. Because if I wear a band aid I know I'll get girl's pitty when she says "ohh, what happened to your finger?" and then I can make up shit about what happened, "No I didn't cut it while cutting bread, it happened while I was being fucking bad ass" so that is definitely a good conversation starter.
But then if I just have scar out, it means that yeah, I have a scar and I don't give a fuck, no need to show it off. Makes it a lot more bad ass and if a girl notices it I know she will dig me that much more. Instead of asking about the scar she will probably be asking about my junk, straight to the point.
I'm stuck at my house right now though so no girls have seen it yet. Can't wait to get back to emerson and show this off. Do you guys have any advice?

howdy

hey y'all assholes. sorry i haven't posted on here yet. i guess i get so caught up in reading it that i don't think to write on it. how the hell are you fucks? i miss you a great deal. but only in a gay way. john- that story was epic and well-written; but, what do you expect when you throw beer olympics in your house?! hah. but wish i was there.
temple blows. people here are backwards as shit. they drink but won't smoke. their reason? it's bad for you.
you should have seen the christmas lights here. one house had a twenty foot long sign in their yard saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS." i thought you would like that john.
i was at this party the other night and Power by kanye came on and no one but me knew the words. i hate these people. and who comes to a party already drunk? other than john? da fuck?!
ella is coming here on the 10th, which will be cool. i'm trying to get a job at this place (alternativerentals.com) for this summer. i've been talking to the guy and he seems interested. fingers crossed.
adrian- did you see that cowboys game on christmas? wtf.
argentina- i fucking doubt you're better than me
joe- marry kristen
jesse- erin robbed me of $23, thats a lot of booze
john- https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaI36YspOsKWILK3wuKIfMtCB7PUz8_gc2dEQZUOKWSzFCTD2r4EKPQGzJYlbABTi_yu4vQYzbfwHsO3cvwzXS8P1Ct57NypEtqwDfkaDItzs99FGZ7gOoVaZ77NFTZJfGQ7Cz9f2_LV8/s1600/Chimp-Cap-Book-AW10-P11.jpg
kristen- marry joe

Disaster Strikes

So me and my friends are no longer allowed to drink in my house as a result of last night's semi-annual Beer Olympics -- a night of heavy drink consumption revolving around one single continuous game. Last Holiday season was 72 Cup pong, this summer's was Brawlfest, and the most recent was Land Mines. 72 Cup banned us from Fish's house and Brawlfest banned us from Shanley's.

Land Mines is a game where you wager a drink and the contestant must chug the wagering cup and snatch a spinning quarter before it falls, or someone smashes it with an empty can (a land mine). Toph, however, fucked this up by pouring the wagerer's beer into the cup instead of the contestant's leaving no incentive to not dump all the beer in on every turn. What ensued was a shitshow.

My Brown Friend decided to bed himself in my room. This would've been fine if he didn't wake up 15 minutes later with the intent to run to the bathroom. Indulgently intoxicated, he couldn't find the door knob, and he found himself trapped in my room. He collapsed on the floor, only after pulling all my books off the shelves and vomiting on my wall/poster/carpet etc.

My mother ran downstairs to figure out just what the hell was going on in her home. She passed Toph, who had just thrown my grandmother's gift martini glasses, and was now ranting on at volume Barger had supposedly put water in his ear.

When she made it to the basement Barger was pissing in the sink and me and The Other Inditwin were trying to figure out how we had broken the glass on the table. "I hardly slammed it at all!"

Me and The Other Inditwin went upstairs to tend to My Brown Friend (The Other Inditwin's twin). He was passed out on the floor in a pool of puke that looked and smelled like Ale -- rightly so. After 10 minutes of bitching and screaming, me my mother and The Other Inditwin grabbed My Brown Friend by the arm and drug him to the bathroom, wrapped in my comforter, where he would sleep. My mother taught The Other Inditwin how to check his vital signs and he spent the night watching over the drunkard. It became apparent to my mother that he wasn't sober enough for the job when he refused to let her take her sweater out from underneath his head...I wonder what it is about drunk folk that makes them think saying no repetitively will convince people they are sober...

Anyway, to cut the rest of a long story short, I got done cleaning up at 5 this afternoon and my mother said, "You and your friends can't be drinking here anymore." ...My friends are assholes.

So, we continue the tradition of the Semi-annual Beer Olympics and slowly whittling away our locations to imbibe at.

NEW VID!!

Come and Play from Adrian Lacasse on Vimeo.

movie

joe i dont really have much advice to give you on cameras, im sorry. i was just wondering though, have any of you seen true grit? is it that good? should i go watch it?

Camera

I got a lot of money this christmas, and I think I want to buy a camera. I was thinking an EOS Rebel XS or a Rebel T1i. Any thoughts? Any suggestions?

Adrian got a pony?!?!??!?! What the FUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I GOT A PONY FOR CHRISTMAS!!

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH

Christmas Eve Party

So last night the Cico family attended the neighbor's Christmas Eve Party.

My dad avoided me so as not to explode at me with something about my cigarette addiction. My mom listened to Mr. Liefer drone on about his wine-cellar for the entire 3 hours. My sister escaped and made off like a bandit with the Minkstein's bottle of potato vodka. I re-established my social ineptitude, standing in a corner with the one non-stranger, drinking a solo cup of Jameson straight and fending off drunken neighbors who remembered when I was "this tall." Of course, I didn't remember them at any height.

I finally understood, 4 drinks in, after hearing some story from a bald man about his nephew, or his cousin, or some little shit-head, performing nude Macbeth off-broadway -- the point of which, by some stretch, was to let go of my squandering pipe-dreams and get a real job -- that the extra friendly adults at the parties when you were a kid weren't just pal-ing around...they were hammered stupid drunk.

I must've answered the same questions a hundred times to every dingbat on the block. "Hey, how ya doin'?" "Good." "How's school?" "Not bad." "Where you goin' again?" "Emerson College." "What're you doin' there?" "Film." "Oh, that's cool. What's your favorite movie/director?" (What ensues here is the beginning of a lengthy response I've prepared which is cut short by more small-talk) "Cool stuff. So you glad to be home?" "...eh."At a certain point I figured it would be more efficient chase Marissa around the house, trying to look involved in her conversation, so-as to avoid engaging in one of my own. Things got interesting when my mother discovered that the Minkstein boys had dumped a full handle of Canadian schwag whiskey into the pot of cider.

But, at the end of the night, after watching all the neighbors get strutting drunk, slap backs, and generally make themselves obvious, I staggered through the searing cold, stomach full of whiskey, and soul soaked with beer, and wondered if my colon felt crowded by my encroaching testicles. Then I thought I don't belong here.

I've gotta get outta here.

I FUCKING DOUBT IT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFIGGE6x-gs&feature=player_embedded#!

No. I fucking doubt it.

These are not tricks performed on Earth.

barfy

Last night was the Freeman family christmas party, and we were all drinking and dancing and having a hellofatime. Then we all stumbled home, and my mom barfed everywhere because she drank to much it. It was awesome.

Miss you guys.

should i be asleep

i dont know.

grains

so i just had some grains today that were even better than ours. fucking ridiculous.

I'm sick

My parents apparently keep the house at 59 degrees now. I don't know when the fuck that happened but it got me sick as shit. Slept without enough clothes and woke up sneezing. My mommy said that I couldn't have any friends over today cause she was getting ready to Christmas around the house and she wouldn't let me leave because I literally had to bake cookies. My brother left to go back to his apartment in Atlanta because my parents are old and naggy.

Does anybody wanna come over tonight? I found my old xbox? Eh? eh???

Congrats John for getting a killer ass camera. I'm sorry there is ten feet of snow on your house.

my first post

well i just wanted to try out this whole blogging thing out so here is my first post. not gonna lie, the patriots made my dick really big today, good thing they pulled out a win because if not it would have probably burst.
Black swan was the illest, so im really glad you guys saw it. jesse is always going through phases so let him be. the only thing is that now whenever mamma bird comes out its going to bring back memories of the swan which is going to freak me out a little bit.
john, syracuse sucks and so does torrs, ct. i feel you.
alright, well blogging was fun,

lata.

p.s. my dick gets big when im not around you guys. (should i be saying all of this on a blog?)

Fuck Sibera

Fuck Syracuse. This town is colder than a fucking gravedigger's ass in January. I can walk down the street and feel my testicles crawl into my colon.

On top of that, I can't ever walk anywhere without having to dig my shoe out of some 2 foot mound of snow...and I can't skateboard, 'cause the little skate-rat bastards at the skatepark are assholes.

I wanna go back to Boston...or take me to the west coast.

PS- Fuck shit up.

PPS- Fuck-a-bitch-and-fuck-you-too

PPPS- And fuck screenplays.

All yall bitches can suck my nuts

I'm already ready to be back in Boston. Is anybody else feeling me?

Also, thank you Adrian for helping me out with the Black Swan shit. Monkey-Jesse is not to trifled with.

The Answers To Joe's Questions [Below]

• you thought the movie was good
• you just got drugged and fucked by jesse
• for real but there was some hallucinating of a monkey
• jesse's real but he might be a monkey
• monkey-jesse is neither white nor black
• that was jesse pooping in his hand and throwing it into the side of your head
• monkey-jesse

Also jesse if you read this:

-i tried to fix up the dolly move in your vid but it was a bitch and nothing really worked, cuz the main problem is that the dolly changes speed, but i think it's fine how it is

-have you seen my tang?

Mind fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Jesse and I just saw the Black Swan, and I am having a hard time conceptualizing reality right now. They movie was amazing. I think? What just happened? Is this all real or am I hallucinating? Is Jesse real? ... Wait... is White Jesse behind me, or Black Jesse? He looks pretty normal...

What the hell was that?!?!

Jesse...?

I JUST FINISHED ALL MY SHIT

fuck my dick and drink my cum

Friends

everyone with a friend is a friend of a friend

Final Haikus and more thoughts

This was my conclusion for my paper for a while, until I thought of a better one.

This is gonna be my fatass conclusion. Fuck this paper. Alright lets get started in showing that vladek dick dick dick dickd ickdickdickdicdickdikcidkcidkcidkcidkcidkcidkcidkcidkcidkcidkcidkcidkcidk

Haikus by Joseph Freeman

Studying drama

For my final exam that

is tomorrow... shit

Talking shit, talking

facts, talking shitfacts. Screw these

finals. Kill thyself.

Wait, is this a joke?

Better be a fucking joke...

This is all bullshit

This doesn't seem right

Everything seems kinda off...

Wait... IS THIS A TRAP?!?

The Gettier Problem

Until the mid 1960s, it was believed that Knowledge=Justified True Beliefs. However, Edmund Gettier fucked it up....

_______________________

Farmer Franco is concerned about his prize cow, Daisy. In fact, he is so concerned that when his dairyman tells him that Daisy is in the field, happily grazing, he says he needs to know for certain. He doesn't want merely to have a 99 percent probability that Daisy is safe, he wants to be able to say that he knows Daisy is safe.

Farmer Franco goes out to the field and standing by the gate sees in the distance, behind some trees, a white and black shape that he recognizes as his favorite cow. He goes back to the dairy and tells his friend that he knows Daisy is in the field.

Yet, at this point, does Farmer Franco really know it?

The dairyman says he will check too, and goes to the field. There he finds Daisy, having a nap in a hollow, behind a bush, well out of sight of the gate. He also spots a large piece of black and white paper that has got caught in a tree.

Daisy is in the field, as Farmer Franco thought.

But was he right to say that he knew she was?

The philosopher, Martin Cohen, who described this scenario originally, says that in this case the farmer:

• believed the cow was safe;
• had evidence that this was so (his belief was justified);
• and it was true that his cow was safe.

However, we might still feel that the farmer did not really know it; his justified true belief was actually operating independent of the truth. Herein lies the core of the problem of 'knowledge as justified true belief'.

In the case of the Awesome Room, we believe we are funny, and there is sufficient evidence that justifies our belief (people laugh when we are around), and it is true that we are funny. However, we are not funny for the reasons we think we are; our justified true belief is operating independent of the truth (people laugh at us)...

miiiiiindd fuuuuckkkkk

Some Real Shit

If you had never questioned yourself, you would've right.

miiiiiind fuuuuuuckk

am i right people?

Talkin shit talkin facts

talkin shit-facts!!!!!

Jesus...

Welcome

This is our blog.  It's not a joke.