Drawings from Last Week, Today: (3/11-3/16). Part 1/2

So as you all know, I've been trying to draw more and more. Last week, two separate nights in a row, I combined all the Deathly Hallows and decided to draw whatever came to my mind. I tried to let my mind wander while drawing these and I think it's apparent.

So for the first of two posts pertaining to last weeks drawings, I give you the drawing I entitle:

"Fuck"

As you can see, "Fuck" is kind of a lovely mess. I believe it is a reflection of how my brain works. But unlike past drawings in my notebook, I decided to give this drawing some flavor.

Sometimes when I fuck up, I self-criticize myself and point out my own fuck ups in a drawing (see Part 2/2). This time I did criticize myself, but I also embraced how I fucked up everything.

This drawing began with the face, as many of my drawings do. I think I originally wanted the character to be looking down at someone. I had drawn one of my characters looking at a child on a previous date and I wanted to emulate what I had done here. Well, I fucked up. My character turned into a hunchbacked creature and I decided to write "Fuck" in bolded, yet flowing letters. Following this, I decided to draw the speech bubble, which I try to have fun with. I hate the normal speech bubble. I like making it whimsical and weirdly shaped. But once again, I fucked up, as is apparent by the two humps in the top right.

But I did something I usually never do: I decided to continue drawing whatever came to mind. I decided to draw the bikers next. Driving up and over the mountains, I decided to also add clouds. Due to my lack of good perspective drawings, I tried to draw a cloud going behind a mountain, but it just looked like clown hair, so I embraced it and gave the mountain a face.

Next, I drew the lake in the middle because the negative space in the middle of the speech bubble looked like a lake. When I thought about the lake, I wanted to draw a dinosaur in it or at least Nessy, which is why Pac Man is in the middle of the lake. The original head I drew looked too much like Pac Man, so I embraced it. Then I actually tried to draw Nessy and added the castle just for the reference to make sense.

Following this, I wanted to try to draw something else, maybe something the character was looking at. That's what the Chain Chomp looking mother fucker kind of is. I decided to draw shapes on its back to not make it another video game reference and I wanted to draw a cowboy riding it as if it was a horse, so all the shapes on the back kind of look like saddles.

Then I drew that kid saying "MAH!" and then drew his "MAH" and I decided to end it there because she accidentally became the object everyone is looking at in the drawing. All attention is on her.

But while this may seem like a mishmash of thoughts and images, this is how my brain works. But I am learning from this process and the only way to get better at things is to keep doing them. I overcame my own negativity here and was able to semi-accurately display what was going on in my mind and how my mind works at certain times (especially when the Deathly Hallows are involved).

Stay tuned for Part 2/2 where the drawing is entitled: "This World is a Void: or I'm Feeling Self-Destructive".

-Josh Age: 22

Quake pome

There was a quake

'Twas of the earth

And everyone around

Was all like what

The fuck was that

What happened to the ground

Just saying hi.

Checking in. I'm at my parents house in ATL but flying to LA on tuesday!

Not sure what to say. Everything is going according to plan. I'm going to go on this big west coast bike trip. Living with my parents for three weeks has sucked ass. I miss you guys and can't wait to see you next week.

Date Thoughts

As I told you guys, I went on a date yesterday and I’m sure you are all now at the edge of your seats waiting to hear how it went. I figured I would recap it with some of the highlights of the night and then include some retrospective thoughts.

-We saw each other said hi and then first question: “ok, how do you say your name?” Just like I thought. Asked how her day has been and the ride over, which immediately led to a, “how about you? How was your ride?” so I had to explain the whole car situation. I think she was a little bit weirded out but I made amends later on.

-We went bowling at this place called Shatto 39 lanes. The place is freaking huge! There are a bunch of bowling lanes that are still pretty old school so no crazy animations after hitting a strike or the bowling ball magically coming up from under the ground. Fuck I’m pretty sure there were kids working behind the lanes setting up our pins (tried that joke, let’s just say it went in the gutter).

-I was wondering how the whole conversation while playing thing was going to work but it naturally defaulted to both of us standing next to where the balls sit and we would talk in between shots, sometimes for 5-10 mins at a time.

-Had originally bought one game for each but that quickly turned to two. We kept talking and playing (I won both games easily) and after 2 hours it was time to go.  At this point, the conversations were mostly about what we do for work, where we have traveled, and family. Nothing crazy, just getting to know each other’s backgrounds.

-As we are leaving the place, I suggest to go out to dinner. She accepts (strike!). I had looked up a few places around the area and we decided to check out this small Korean bar/restaurant that got really good reviews on Yelp.

-We walk on over, talk and shit until we get to the place. Now the door to this place is wooden and broken down so I was kind of hesistant to go in because sometimes these places can be intimidating to eat in if you are not the right race. She decides to go in to check it out and if it ain’t for us we would leave. We walk in, a waitress immediately asks “How many people?” She responds, “Two” and now we are in for a ride (spare).

-The place was actually really cool looking inside with all wooden bars, chairs, and tables. The walls were covered in doodles and writing by what I’m guessing were previous guests. Very cozy and tight but the whole language barrier was tough at points.

-We wanted beers, but on the menu it only mentioned “small” and “large” without a list to select from. We decided to go with two large beers. The menu was overwhelming with a huge amounts of different plates of which most I didn’t even know.

-It got octopus, she got some ramen. They were both spicy, but mine was very spicy. I had an empty stomach, so the spice combined with the beers (which ended up being pints of hite) was not the greatest mix.

-We get to talking, the food is great, we are having a good time but the waitress never comes back to check on us. The only thing to do was to keep talking.

-I had two kind of stumbles. One was when I made a borderline racist remark about how finally there were a couple of white people joining us at this restaurant. She didn’t hear what I said though but I think the people next to me did. This one guy (I don’t like to stereotype or judge but I’m thinking he was of an Asian race) was just staring at me while the girl was asking me to repeat what I said. I couldn’t repeat what I said with those knives looking at me so all I could say was nevermind.

-Once the fellow stopped looking over, I told her that I said something that didn’t come out the way I planned and couldn’t repeat it because of the people next to us.

-My other stumble happened when I was telling a great story and was getting very animated. My hands were flailing a bit and my right one kind of slammed down on the table. The only thing was that before it hit the table, a chopstick got caught on the way. Simple physics made the sauce covered chopstick fly into the air, spew the sauce on us and land about 5 feet away from our table. I apologized a lot. She was cool.

-Then I learned she smoked (YEY!). We told each other some high stories, some good and some bad. It was all great though. Then somehow the Christmas album came up and she mentioned that she also made a Christmas album with her friends. Wild coincidence! Can’t wait to show her it! 

-After 2.5 hours, I didn’t want to call for the bill and make her fee like I wanted to get the fuck out but I thought it needed to be ended before it got awkward (I think I timed it right) (Hit the 7-9 split).

-Got the bill, paid (it was an expensive date but hopefully it was worth it), and then walked her to her car. Mentioned that I had a good time and we should do this again, we hugged and then she headed out. She also offered a ride, I don’t know if I should have taken it, but I declined (Field goal! (Bowling term)).

Looking back on it: Overall it was a 5+ hour date that went pretty well. Now what I can’t stop thinking about is whether I’ve gotten to the point where I want some sort of relationship with a girl so bad that I’m willing to sacrifice some things for it. Meaning, am I subconsciously just playing a game to win the trophy or am I actually doing this because I’m enjoying the ride. Nam saying? Or are my expectations for a first date way too high and I'm searching for something that is not there? Again, I thought it went great. We got along and everything but I don’t know.

TL:DR: I talked to a girl for a long time (perfect game).

March Poem 05

The day drifts on

And I lie here

Pondering what it is

About a potato

That likens itself

To my unmoving, horizontal laziness

Perhaps its weak, flimsy skin

Covering the soft, puffy blandness 

Within

Perhaps the bloated lumpiness

A potato does sound good right about now

Josh Age 22

I've been thinking about drawing more.

This is my first one in my new sketchbook.

Could this be the one?

For those keeping track at home, I'll be going on a date this saturday at 4pm. I'll be bowling with a girl that I recently met online. This is the third person I'll be going on a date with if you count the one I got stood up on. Wish me luck!