Where the Fuck is Everyone

This is some fucking bullshit. Why is our suite still fucking empty at 11pm on a Sunday night. I've already jerked off three times and consumed the rest of our drugs. Its fucking boring god dammit time to play mario kart by myself again.

Gone

They’re all gone. Everything that made the Awesome Room awesome has vanished, at least for the time being. Now it’s just a room and I’m in it. What should I do? I’m in a room, alone. What should I do?:

Should I go outside? It’s gotten cold, that doesn’t sound too good.

Should I watch a DVD? Scott took all of his and mine I know too well.

Should I read? Ha!

Should I masturbate? That’s always an option but right now I don’t feel up to it. What should I do?

Should I write? Well, I’m already doing that and yet I feel like I’m doing nothing.

Should I smoke? Why? With no one around that practice is empty.

Should I skate?

Should I rub my balls on everything in the suite so that when they return I’ll have the secret knowledge that they are touching something that my balls touched?

Should I get drunk and watch Midnight Cowboy?

Should I line the walls with toilet paper and draw on them? A forest maybe? Or would it be better to draw perspective lines so the hallway goes on forever?

Should I sleep in each bed and decide which is the best and then switch that mattress with my own?

Should I go through everyone’s things to discover horrible secrets that will make me rethink my association with them?

Should I let them know I miss them?

Should I kill thy self?

Should I play music?

Should I swap scott’s things with argentina’s things and then swap them back again?

Should I build a fort? I could build a fort and stay inside it till everyone gets back. But soon the walls of that fort would start looking a lot like the wall of this room and empty.

Should I do a headstand till I pass out?

Should I eat coins?

Should I stop?

Should I break something, that way I’ll have to put it back together before they get back? What should I break?

But… wait

Oh, hark! How is this I find myself?

Up? Elevated? Outward? Dare I say... high?

Yes, it appears true indeed! How well I’ve found it and uncovered myself! Myself to be the thing I have uncovered, like a carpet you have to pick up to look under only to find out that you are under it. And look at this joyous setting for such a moment. How much room for me to lay and roll around! Oh the lack of people, without those there is no one to point out how wrong or confused I am! How joyous…

Oh, Midnight Cowboy is on.

Un Fucking Fathomable

it's 2011 and i can't fucking pause and rewind a fucking yahoo video without reloading the whole fucking page and sitting through another bullshit choppy-ass advertisement that I don't give a fuck about? un fucking fathomable.

and now my re-loaded video is frozen. fan fucking tastic.

the internet's been around for 30 years, people. time to get your shit together.

mothafuckas

ima write my essays
all day and night
ima cite some bullshit
y'all can suck my dick

-Poete le'Douche, 1867